2009年12月14日 星期一
Backpacking travel and tour travel
If you want to take a trip. There are two ways such as backpacking travel and tour travel trip that you can choose. But there are some different like tour travel is more expensive than backpacking travel because travel by travel agency is that people design all journey for you, however, you can’t go around by yourself. On the other hand, if you choose backpacking travel. You can see landscape without time limit；nevertheless, you should plan all schedules and where you live by yourself. There also are seminaries between them, for example, people’s goal are looking beautiful scenery. I prefer backpacking travel to tour travel. You can plan all things you want to do without other people and it seems more independency than tour travel. In the process, it can make you grow up. If you are first time to travel I think tour travel is your best choose.
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This piece is very fluent; yet, its writing format and structure are kind of too informal.
回覆刪除Please pay attention to your command of punctuation marks. For instance, you shouldn't separate 'if clause' and its main clause. Additionally, this long sentence really needs revision: "But there are some different like tour travel is more expensive than backpacking travel because travel by travel agency is that people design all journey for you, however, you can’t go around by yourself".
'Seminaries' is a typo I made in my slide, but I had corrected myself before you attended my online presentation.
I think you could have done a much better job than this.